Filipina Lady Dating

“You may be married to a Filipina if” has circulated on the internet for some time. I have no idea who originally wrote it, but there is no doubt that whomever wrote it has some connection with a Filipina. What strikes me about this list is that it was written years before some of the Filipina wives of today were even born. That is how old the list is. I decided to take my shot by adding “You may be a Filipina married to an American if…”

The first list is the classic. My list starts below the classic.

The Old Classic

You may be married to a Filipina if..
• your refrigerator is always full but you cannot find any food that you recognize.
• instead of a dowry, you got the whole bill for the wedding and honeymoon.
• most of the decorations in your house are made of wicker.
• you are expected to be able to read her mind just by watching her eyebrows move up and down and which way her lips are pointed.
• all her relatives think your name is Joe.
• the instant you are married you have 3000 new close relatives that you can’t tell apart.
• your house isn’t really on fire, but there is a very charred fish right on top of the stove burner.
• all the desserts are sticky and all the snacks are salty.
• she eats her fruit with giant salt crystals and her fried chicken with ketchup.
• even the ketchup tastes weird… very weird.
• you throw a party and everyone is fighting to chop the leathery skin off a dead pig.
• all your kids have 4-5 middle names.
• your in-laws take 10 years to acknowledge your existence and to call you by something other than “that white guy”.
• you try to call her up on the phone and someone tells you “for a while” and you want to know “for a while, what??”
• you are trying to go to sleep and she keeps asking for the comFORT’r, and you ain’t got a clue what she’s talking about..
• your first Christmas present is some funny looking baggy see-thru shirt made out of leftover lace doilies.
• your phone bills are all international and average 3 hours per call.
• she sweeps with something that witches usually fly around on.
• her idea of classy, expensive champagne is Asti Spumanteh
• the rice cooker is on 24 hours a day and uses up 50% of your electric and food budget.

Filipina Eyes List but in Reverse

You may be a Filipina married to an American if..
• his idea of a fancy restaurant is to go inside McDonalds to eat instead of using the drive thru.
• your wedding album consist of INS paperwork and photos as proof of courtship
• he has a lounge chair he won’t give up that is older then you are
• he speaks to you with hand signals during a football game
• all his relatives speaks slowly and loudly to you as if you are deaf
• he has relatives he never met or even knew exist
• beer and chips are the main course
• beer and chips are for dessert
• he cooks his eggs in beer and puts chips in his sandwich
• he thinks health food is light beer
• his idea of a romantic dinner is beer and chips with candles
• he has kids that are older then you are
• your in-laws married, divorced, remarried, divorced, while you try to figure out who to call mom and dad
• he speaks to his car as he washes it and kisses the hood when he is done
• he throws his clothes on the floor, goes to sleep, wakes up and puts them back on again.
• his idea of a romantic gift is a blender
• a family evening of TV is watching ESPN
• he collects beer bottles, license plates and hats
• his idea of a classy, expensive champagne is beer in a frosted glass
• he uses the rice cooker to sterilize the fishing hooks and melt lead to make sinkers.

Feel free making a comment or adding to the list. If you are adding to the list, please tell us if you are adding to the Classic or to the Filipina Eyes version.




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