Filipina Lady Dating

Surrounded by her family, her many sister’s families, her brother’s families, all 35 of them, she awaits half impatiently, half hesitantly for the man that would soon be her husband. Waving frantically from the causeway erected 10 meters above the main floor of the Cebu International airport, her niece nips at her ”asa na imong kano” (where is your American).

Fidgeting for an answer as she turns to answer as she is interrupted by the voice she recognizes from the many hours of internet chat and international phone calls “Cindy”. She turns to find his open arms and warm smile. As promised she wraps her arms around him and embraces him warmly. She fains from allowing him to kiss her on the lips as he wanted and settles for returning his kiss on her cheek.

This reunion of hearts is played out 1000s of times each year in train stations, ferry terminals and air ports all across the Philippines as the many cyber suitors are joined together with the women they love.

The advent of the internet has resulted in love stories such as these being played out world over. Traditional boundaries and even racial stigma is broken down by these countless hearts seeking happiness.

International relationships or “Long Distance Relationships” as they are frequently called brings with them as many concerns as there are benefits. As anonymous as the internet may be the mitigating factor is the distance. There are few if any American men willing to jump on an airplane tomorrow for any Filipina they have just met on the internet. Nor would there be any Filipinas willing to meet them if they did.

The magic and the blessing of Long Distance Relationships is the time factor. These long distance cross cultural relationships endure a average of 12 months of constant communication prior to culminating in a physical meeting. Some as long as 4 years. All of which leaves the couple begging for 1 thing.

Intimacy
1 : the state of being intimate : FAMILIARITY
2 : something of a personal or private nature

Intimacy in its purest form, true intimacy is the joining of two minds, becoming familiar to each other through countless hours of communication, uninterrupted by physical aspects of a relationship. Many a wise man (and wise woman) have said “At the end of the day what are you 2 going to talk about” In the case of the Filipina / American marriage, the answer is plenty, “We established this relationship on communication”

It is no wonder many of these long distance marital unions have success rates far exceeding those achieved through religious organizations. In fact 1 such study conducted in cooperation with the CFO of the Philippines cited the Filipina American marriages of having an 80% success rate. Not even religious organizations such as the Catholic Church can tout a more impressive statistic.

Currently Non-profit Organizations receiving United States Federal funding are attempting to redefine these relationships and marriages as “Abusive” or “Human Trafficking”. Or they attempt to redefine the women as “Mail Order Brides” and the relationships as Prostitution in nature. However misguided their thinking is I feel it significant to point out they are funded by Abuse programs and Human Trafficking Awareness programs. In short they make a descent living finding abuse and human trafficking under every rock and crevice they can accuse.

More importantly these Long Distance/Cross-cultural Relationships serve as a testimony to the value of communication and understanding in marriage. The rest of America might best be served to take notice and follow the example.

Communication and Understanding works – plain and simple.

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