Most Filipina Ladies, who meet an American at an online dating site, believe the USA is the land of easy living. It is far from that. Most Americans have to work hard - really hard - to make a living. The cost of living in the U.S. is much higher than most countries so even basic necessities can be quite expensive. It shouldn’t be that way, but because of political greed the average American family has to work hard to survive.

The U.S. is a land that is govern by a body of politicians that have considerable influence over how the average American lives. In today’s political climate, most Americans believe the politicians’ work for large corporations or special interest groups and are not concerned about the individual rights of the average American. Laws are passed to assist corporations or to favor special interest groups that increase the average American’s cost of living and tax burden. Usually politicians try to gift wrap their rhetoric so it sounds as if they are doing an average American a favor but when you read the fine print it is all about self-promoting their career, catering to lobbyists’ whims and taking care of corporate America. Most politicians do what they do to promote their career, not what is best for average Americans.

Shockingly, for the average American necessities are costly. Laws are passed so Americans have to pay lofty fees for insurances that rarely pay back. By law Americans have to pay these insurance premiums while the customer usually has to pay legal fees to get paid for insurance claims that is rightly theirs. This is just one example of where laws are passed to favor insurance companies, special interest groups, and corporations while hard-working Americans’ needs are ignored. Utility CEOs and school administrators live in luxury homes paid by American labor and tax dollars while Americans worry about heating their house for the winter. Politicians’ medical care is paid for by American tax dollar while millions of children are under nourished and suffer medically. Federal judges are appointed for life and are more concerned about political aspirations than individual rights. This is the way of the land and many Americans are tired of it. It is a land of plenty that goes mostly to the privilege paid for by the American tax dollar - OR - laws are passed to subsidize utility and insurance companies’ inept management of resources that are paid for by Americans so they can live better life than most. It isn’t about FREEDOM in America, it is about money. If you have it, you can buy all the freedom you want. With a country as rich as ours who waste millions on useless programs to self promote political careers or to appease special interest groups, no American should have to pay exuberant dollars for the necessities to survive. But we do pay – political greed trumps necessities for living every time.

Middle America is fading away. You are either a hard-working puppet of the political system or part of the privileged who live off the puppet’s hard labor. American caste system is fueled by politicians who put their careers above individual rights and the constitution. It is greed at its best. Andrew Jackson said: “It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their own selfish purposes.” This is more true today than ever. I might borrow Jackson’s foresight and say “It is to be regretted that corporate America, special interest groups, lobbyists and politicians bend the acts of government to their own selfish purpose while stomping on the livelihood and individual rights of average Americans. The fact that politicians can give themselves raises of 30, 40 or even 50% while the rest of America goes without and is asked to keep sacrificing isn’t evident of political selfishness and greed, I don’t know what is. Most politicians live in suits and get hair cuts that cost more than a month worth of groceries for average Americans. For a politician to even think they understand the plight of an average American is a joke. If current politicians’ experience is the type of political experience that is governing America than we need less experience and more political empathy for the average American.

There is something wrong with a government that is more concerned about insurance companies than medical needs. There is something wrong with a government that passes’ laws that can take-away individual property in favor of economical greed run by non-trusted politicians. There is something wrong when local and state government is more concerned about Americans paying their sewer and utility bills than passing laws to protect the average American from greedy, utility CEOs. None of the privilege is expected to learn to budget their money or make sacrifices as the average American is expected to do to survive. The privilege simply raises taxes or pass laws to take care of their greed, they don’t budget, cut waste that benefit their careers or know what it means to sacrifice. A politician couldn’t live in my shoes for one month. They couldn’t survive because they wouldn’t have the government, special interest groups, or political favors to bail them out when they couldn’t live within their means. It is wrong and one day America will stand up and shout “enough, we are not ignorant and are wise to your ways.”

I can go on about the state of financial survival for the average American, but my point here is that most Filipinas have an unrealistic view of life in America. My wife soon learn that everything is costly and most of the cost is based on political greed be it at local, state or federal government. Americans already pay enough taxes, but inept politicians waste our tax dollars on programs that are NOT necessary to appease special interest groups and provide funding. Taxes never need to be raised, taxes are plenty. We need politicians who get rid of the waste and spend our taxes on what is needed for Americans, not waste our tax dollars on special interest groups, or corporate CEOs. Today Americans don’t’ need a political leader who will pass more laws, but instead we need a leader who will get rid of the waste and corruption that exist in the political environment. Unfortunately politicians simply pass laws to make their corruption legal….most laws are political favors and unnecessarily add to the burden of surviving financially in America.

I once read an article where a politician was criticizing another politician for not authoring new laws. I say we should applaud the politician who doesn’t add to the already over regulated state of affairs in our country. Most laws are passed to put a feather in the politician’s hat, not because of necessity. Most laws are passed to appease special interest groups or corporate America for political campaigns or reelection favors. What is needed is a politician to get rid of laws that waste our tax dollars. What is needed is to outlaw special interest groups and have politicians be elected solely on their merit. Politicians don’t need to raise taxes – what is needed are better politicians.

If a Filipina Lady meets an American man on an online dating site, marry him for the right reasons. Marry him for love and he will work hard to take care of you despite the government favoring the privileged over his sacrifices and the burdens he bears to live in America. If you marry for love, you will survive together and be happy.

If you would like to contribute your thoughts, check out the Filipina Lady Forum or if you are looking for that special someone, please go to Filipina Lady Dating

Christmas is days away and another new year is coming. The holidays can be lonely for those who have no one to share it with. It may be the most dangerous time of year for those who are looking for love on the net. Their loneliness leads them to try to desperately fill their emptiness and they fall for any affection that may be bestowed by the opposite sex. Scammers and hustlers feed off of this loneliness and use it to make a quick buck.

If you meet someone online don’t be in a hurry to confess love just to feel emotionally connected to someone for the holidays. For most of us, part of the “feel good time” for the holiday is the act of giving. Scammers know this and are ready to say “I love you” if it buys them all the gifts you are willing to give. Stop! If you just met someone online during the holidays take your time and let the relationship take its course to see if the feelings are sincere. It is too easy during the holidays to get caught up in the emotional trap of “wanting to be loved” versus sincere feelings of love that can only be known when enough time has passed to get to know each other. Letting time be your ally in finding love online is something I preach no matter what time of the year it is, but the emotional battle for wanting to be loved during the holidays makes those who are searching for love even more vulnerable. For some, it may be better to let the holidays pass before continuing their search.

If you have found sincere love, the holidays are a time to be grateful and joyous for being blessed with the greatest gift of all. There truly is no better gift than to have someone to share your life and feelings with. It is a gift that becomes more precious as memories grow. The first Christmas may be special, but the fiftieth Christmas is the kind of joy that only years of loving each other can bring.

If you feel emotionally down, make some online friends, but keep your heart guarded from those who will try to take advantage of your loneliness. What is even more despicable is that many of these scammers will use religion to boost their character in hopes of gaining your trust. Despite their confessions of faith, their true character usually is exposed if you keep your emotions in check, take your time to get to know the person and use common sense. Don’t let your emotions be victimized by words that have little meaning unless you experienced living the feelings of those words. Usually only time together gives you that experience. It isn’t a race, it is the quality of the journey that matters.

I usually don’t like giving examples knowing that everyone’s experience is different, but for the sake of clarity I will provide one. If a guy meets a lady on Dec 20th and by Dec 24th she tells him that he is the greatest man she ever met and loves him, chances are he needs to step back and smell the coffee. Four days and its love? Come on! Yet, it happens all the time. Men will confess love to a lady they know nothing about - N O T H I N G - simply because he wants to be loved. You may find the lady attractive, you may wish she was under your tree for Christmas, but to say you know this lady well enough to confess true love in a matter of four days seems to be the type of gift a scammer would be hoping for. Common sense - what happens to it when a beautiful lady uses words that men want to hear? Don’t make promises, don’t send money, just get to know other, that is if she is willing to stick around to get to know you without you sending money or gifts. If she is looking for true love, she will find you just as wonderful 3 or 4 months from now as she did in 3 or 4 days.

It is hard to state a time table that fits everyone’s emotions, but usually if you are confessing love within the first month there has not been enough time to get to know the truth. Each person is their own judge that is why there are no set rules for love, but common sense needs to prevail if you are going to survive the online dating world and the perils that it may bring when searching for love.

My holiday wish is that everyone finds a person that is true to their heart – not only for the first Christmas, but for the fiftieth Christmas where the gift of love becomes even more precious with memories from years of loving each other.

Many times, an online dating member wants a very specific and definitive answer to their questions about their relationship. It usually can’t be done. For example they may give a few details and then ask if that person loves them. At best, an online dating webmaster can provide his opinion but he should do so cautiously. If there is one definitive rule about love it is “there are no definitive rules.” Everyone’s circumstances, personality and experiences are different. What may be considered an act of love for one, may not for another.

When two people are interacting, their circumstances and experiences are unique to their interplay. When you meet someone, you are dealing with a unique personality that may or may not connect with yours. A lot of American men believe that foreign women all have the same characteristics and traits. Why is this? For example many believe that all Filipina Ladies are docile and gentle. Believe me; they do not all fit this mold. There may be some identifiable traits that seem to fit one culture more so than another, but to believe that every individual from a certain country have the same characteristics is a mistake. A personality develops from many variables and for an online dating webmaster to know before hand what exactly makes two personalities click, especially when it comes to love, is impossible. Think about it. Their environment and emotional experience is part of what makes them who they are, now add to the mix another person with different experiences and you have a formula that may or may not work. Usually time is the only way to be sure if two people have enough spark to explore each other’s personalities to see if they are a match.

When I met my wife, she had many suitors. A lot of them flowered her with gifts. To some this may mean love. To my wife, it felt as if they were trying to buy her affection. When I met her, we spent hours chatting and getting to know each other. In our conversations she once told me how she loved different tea flavors. One day, I sent her a small gift of different tea flavors in a wooden box. It wasn’t the gift that mattered; it was the fact I was listening that touched her heart. So when someone asks me what is important to a Filipina Lady, I usually tell them that listening is important to finding love, but obviously that was my experience and may not be the key ingredient for all relationships.

The best an online dating webmaster can do is talk about their experiences without any guarantees. There is no way of knowing exactly what makes another person fall in love or why they may reject one person over another. This is especially true when we are talking about cultures that are foreign to yours. In the Western world, men may think looks or material things weigh heavy in their courtship success, while romancing a lady from the East, it may be simple words of kindness that wins her heart. There may not be anything wrong with trying to find a focal point in your search for romance as long as you remember there is an individual beneath any stereotype in your search for love. Keep an open mind and find the individuality that exists in all of us, no matter where they are from.

When meeting someone online, it is still prudent advice to get to know them over time and not jump into an immediate romance. Let time be your ally and don’t let cultural stereotypes be your only guide to finding romance – look into their heart and learn who they are, not what you want them to be. There is no mathematical formula for romance. It begins with two people and usually on the road of discovering each other determines where it goes. If all goes well, the best romantic math is – 1 + 1 = one love, one heart, beating as one. How they found this incredible feeling they may not even understand. They probably don’t even care. All they know is what they feel – love

As a webmaster of a Filipina Penpal and dating site, I’m amazed at some member’s relationship mentality. For whatever reason, they view online dating as a jump from meeting to instant marriage without any courtship. This is not the road to take for a successful marriage, be it you meet at an online dating site or your local church.

Most initial contact is based on physical attraction. However, I recommend to members of my site to start out as penpals and act accordingly. No sexual innuendos, no promises, no commitments — take your time getting to know each other and see where it leads. Relationships based solely on looks is usually a recipe for disaster. I’m not saying attraction is not important, but it isn’t the sole criterion to sustaining a long and happy marriage. There has to be more to a relationship than the way he or she looks, but also on what he or she has in common.

Online dating to some is an avenue to circumvent the courtship process. They see someone online, exchange a few emails, and instantly declare love. In a traditional dating scenario you don’t usually declare love after a few dates. Why should online dating be any different? The courting process after meeting someone online should be similar to traditional dating. There is an attraction, you exchange emails, and if interest is sparked you flirt, communicate, and even do a version of traditional dating through online chats, phone calls and spending time getting to know each other. Online dating is not an environment where marriage success is magically guaranteed with a “hello” to a “I do” without involving the courting process.

Taking the penpal approach to meeting someone online, may help keep your behavior in check. I’m amazed when a gentleman is flirting with a lady within the first or second email. This person is usually trying to circumvent the courtship process and in doing so is asking for problems. Many who flirt when flirting is not appropriate, is the type of person a hustler is looking for. Keeping your words appropriate for the stage of the relationship you are in and by starting out as penpals, may be your safest and best approach to finding true love.

If you are in a hurry or feel you don’t have time to waste looking for love, you need to rearrange your priorities or in the long run you may waste a lot more time in divorce court or involved with an unhappy marriage. Do yourself a favor — be a penpal first and let the stages of courtship develop naturally. If you are as lucky as I was, not only will you find true love, but also a best friend for life.

As a online dating webmasters, I get emails asking me how to detect a scammer. It is tough. When a member joins a site, they don’t put in their profile, “hey, I’m joining so I can try to scam money from other members”. Only after they try to commit the scamming deed do we know their true intentions. When that happens, it should be reported to the webmaster.

The following list was my guideline when looking for online dating love. Each person’s judgment varies and ultimately are responsible for their own decisions. The following has no guarantees, but if it works for you so be it.

1. Don’t send money to a person you are getting to know. During the getting to know each other stages, money should not be a topic. My wife never asked me for a dime during our courtship. Only after time invested in getting to know each other and marriage was discussed did we talk about expenses. Major financial decisions should be reserved for when the relationship is beyond the get to know each other stage and is heading for marriage. Only you can decide when that is.

2. Time is your ally. Most scammers do not like to exchange a lot of emails when their main objective is to get money. They want to get as much money in the short amount of time they can. In other words, they usually are not into long courtships, not unless that courtship includes you sending money on a regular basis.

3. Template letters or emails is usually a sign. If an email seems like it could of been copied and pasted to send to anyone, a red flag should be waving in front of your eyes. If they are not at least addressing some identifiable information about you when replying to your email, be careful.

4. Chatting — this is not the case for all, but I have to address it. Most scammers want to get you in an intimate conversation as soon as possible. They love to invite you to chat knowing they can pull at your heart strings in real time and learn if you are a mark or not. Personally, I would want to exchange several emails and even letters before chatting. There may be one exception to this, but I would still limit my time. If I suspected the person’s photo may not be who they say they are, I would want to chat with a webcam, but only do so for 5 or 10 minutes. Again, I’d rather invest time to getting to know each other by email or letter and if the other person is interested in you, they will also want to equally invest their time.

5. Endearments — why would anyone be calling another person, honey, sweetheart, lover, etc, within a few emails or within a short amount of time? First, it is disrespectful. When I was courting my wife and if I would of called her sweetheart after only a few emails she would of walked away. She doesn’t care for that type of arrogance and would take it as an insult to the Filipino culture. Respectful Filipina ladies are aware of the stereotypes and any man who tries to exploit another lady based on misguided cultural believes is not a gentleman. The same goes for ladies. If they are calling you honey, sweetie, etc, within a few emails or while chatting early in a relationship, I would be careful. It is not appropriate or the right time. If you are calling someone sweetheart early on in a relationship and they happen to be a scammer, you just made their job easier. Use words that is appropriate for the relationship stage you are involved in out of respect for their culture and to protect yourself from being a mark for a scammer.

The above is not all inclusive, but may help those who need some guidance. With that said, there are no definitive rules when it comes to love or courtship. Ultimately, common sense needs to prevail and only you can decide what is and what is not appropriate for you. With that said, I still say: don’t fall for any story that sounds too good to be true, don’t send money during the get to know each other stage of a relationship (unless the expense is minor and you decide it is not a financial burden) and let time be your friend. If red flags go off but you are not sure, at least slow down, take your time and get to know each other.

I remember watching a 60 minute show about a guy who was being scammed. He lost everything, even his house. Whatever the girl wanted, he bought. Unlike some, I did not feel sorry for the guy. I sat in wonderment thinking how he could be so stupid. Maybe he could falter one time, but to continue to send money to a lady he never met was financial suicide. He was desperate for love. A recipe for disaster. If you are this desperate for love and your judgment is that poor, do yourself a favor and don’t look for love on the internet.

Where are scammers? — E V E R Y W H E R E. They are on yahoo, youtube, myspace, online dating sites, etc. Even the big boys, like youtube (owned by google), can’t stop them. Instead they ask that members report when a person uses their site inappropriately. On Filipina Lady I ask the same. Any dating site who says they never had a scammer is probably lying or they are super unaware. There are times that members will not report a scammer from embarrassment. It is better to report them. On my site I do ask that you provide some evidence of scamming. I have had people falsely report someone for scamming because they were rejected by that person.

Finding love should not be a fast food mentality. It took me and my wife almost a year before we knew that it was meant to be. Oh sure, my hormones was in high gear, but I knew that true love was about commitment, time and a lifetime of happiness. For me, it worked. Whatever time table you are on may not be the same as mine, but if you think you are in love within a few emails and a couple of chats, you may want to step back and assess your judgment. For me, years later, I’m more in love with my wife than I ever was. I wake up every morning knowing I’m with someone who loves me for me. No doubts, no questions – the love and respect is mutual and will last a lifetime.

Good luck and happy holidays to all.

A Filipina Lady strives to fulfill her dreams, she is kindhearted, shows respect to both young and old, she laughs, she cries, she triumphs, she fails, but she will always stand up, and say I’m a Filipina. I’m proud of where I came from, I’m proud of my country, I’m proud of being a Pinay, I’m proud to be a Filipino.

The Philippines has many affinities with the Western world, derived mainly from the cultures of Spain, Latin America, and the United States. After the Japanese were defeated in1945, the Philippines was granted independence from the United States on July 4, 1946. The Philippines constitutes an archipelago of 7,107 islands with a total land area of approximately 300,000 square kilometers (116,000 sq mi) and is the world’s 12th most populous country, with a population of over 85 million as of 2005. The history of the Philippines can be divided into four distinct phases: the pre-Spanish period (before 1521); the Spanish period (1521-1898); the American period (1898-1946); and the post-independence period (1946-present). Many say that the American period had the most influence on today’s Filipino. In 1987, the Philippine Constitution was changed to make Filipino and English both the official languages.

Filipina Lady Attraction

Many ask why so many western men are attracted to Filipina Ladies, especially Americans. It is the simplicity of their values with a mixture of American influence that seems to attract most men. In the Asian world, the Philippines is the largest English speaking country. This makes communication easier for men who find the Filipina beauty alluring and friendly. If a man is searching for a non-western lady with Asian values, the language barrier is not a factor when getting to know these ladies. The Philippines is also one of the largest Christian countries in Asia and it is the world’s fifth largest Catholic Nation. Because of Western influence, finding common ground with a Filipina Lady can easily be established. However, the Western world is not without its rudeness. A number of Filipina Ladies find derogatory names like “foreign bride” or “mail order bride” being disrespectful to their culture and gender. As one well informed Filipina Lady said: “when it comes to respect and morality the Philippines is not a 3rd world country – the U.S. government. with their imposing will of what they deem is good for the world gets the title of 3rd world ignorance for disrespecting people and their culture.”

Filipina Lady Reputation

The Western world of morality as they see fit has insulted many Filipina women. There is an onslaught of Western feminism tying to impose their point of view without knowing her identity, her values, her upbringing, her experiences, and concerns. As usual, it is the government imposing their will backed by political hags that are out of touch of what it takes to survive as an average citizen. Instead of asking the folks who actually have to live life, politicians and special interest groups continue to impose what they think is right for the average citizen to further their own political endeavors and wealth. This alienation perpetrates most Filipina Ladies’ reputation in a bad light instead of protecting it. As one Filipina Lady said: “if the government is involved on my behalf, they need to live my life before they impose their will – I”m not forced to do anything I don’t want to do when given free will – only the government forces me to do what I find insulting and unnecessary.”

Most Filipina Ladies who join a dating site do so for the right reasons. They may be tagged by politicians and special interest groups as helpless victims, but many find that the ignorance lies within the government policy to take away their individual rights by using the helpless victim tag as a means to promote their own selfish agenda for individual gain. To them the political agenda is obvious, while the vast majority wants and needs are ignored in favor of a few who prostitute their unfortunate story as being the truth of many. Nothing could be so wrong as the government’s unwillingness to talk to those who know the truth and use fabrication to further their agenda and individual wealth. The government could learn a lot about morality from a simple Filipina Lady who knows what is best for her and how to live life.

Filipina Lady – She is

Who is she? An individual with much to offer. Desired for her beauty that is reflected in her character as a person, not as a governmental pawn for political agendas. If you ask her what her agenda may be and you don’t agree, give her respect, give her free will and give her the ability to choose for herself as long as she is not harming others. She may be many things to many people, but let her decide who she wants to be. She is Filipino, a lady from the Philippines that is as proud as any woman from any country whom endearingly is known to most of us as a Filipina Lady.

When there’s no love in a relationship anymore, most people go crazy trying to find a fix for their problem before it’s too late.

Many people go online and search for the answer answer but you can’t just click, buy, and get instant gratification. In Online Dating< the process also takes time.

Relationships, like crops, are governed by the natural laws of the universe. There are no short-cuts. If you skip a step, you’ll short circuit the process and slow yourself down. But if you take your time and go step-by-step…that’s the fastest way.

I know some friends who are not happy with their relationship because one acts so immature.
What kind of man would date or chat intimately with another woman when he already have a serious relationship. The woman he’s hooking up with might be looking for emotional intimacy and probably to get married. But he’s using her. That’s not nice! In fact, that’s exactly the kind of man that a woman would leave and NEVER come back to.

My friend would know because if he did it, then that’s who he is. My friend may not know the details of what he’s doing. But she knows him. And if he did such a thing, then that’s him, and everyone knows it.

The only way YOU can change your marriage is to change yourself. You’ve got to become the man or woman that anyone would want to be married to. You have to learn what a man/woman wants in a marriage AND how to implement relationship habits so that you can offer it CONSISTENTLY

The online dating world at Christmas time is more about finding love then giving it. Thousands of lonely men search the net in hopes of meeting someone who will be their Mrs Claus. However, if you have not established a relationship with a lady before Christmas and are still searching, it may be best to let the holiday spirit pass before confessing love. I didn’t say to stop communicating and adding to your list the qualities you are looking for, I’m saying, keep your emotions in check until after the holidays.

This is a good time to be writing and getting to know ladies but not a good time to let your heart open to mixed signals during a time a lonely man feels most depressed. Christmas really isn’t Christmas unless you have someone special to buy for, to share Christmas dinner with and be part of someone special in your life. With these emotions so vulnerable, you could easily interrupt these feelings for love. You need to keep your wits about you and let the season be one of getting to know as many ladies as you can and even having a little cyber fun without getting too deep into any emotional involvement.

Those who have met their lady months prior to the holidays and now feel closer to their lady are at a decisive moment of the relationship. It is important you understand the difference. Those who have established a relationship prior to the emotions of the holidays versus those who have not established a relationship, are miles apart in their mind set. The guys who have established a relationship prior to Christmas, got to know their lady well enough to know if the relationship is going to take the next step . Those who are just meeting a lady during the holidays, save your romance until the holidays pass. Get to know her, but don’t let loneliness be your guide to love.

This advise is not something I dreamt up for a blog article. In January I get more emails from guys and gals telling me they meant someone over the holidays but now feel differently then any other month. I get hundreds of letters from ladies in January telling me about the guy who started to write to her in December and now has suddenly stopped. After 3 years of this, I officially call January “the broken heart” month. It’s obvious that just prior to the holidays emotions were being guided by wanting to have that special someone versus actually getting to know the person first. I’ll get emails in December from guys telling me, “Steve I met the lady I’m going to marry a few days ago. She fills the void and emptiness. It has to be love.” Then in January the same gentleman or the lady who he confessed love to, emails me with a broken heart.

Enjoy your holidays, guys. Get to know the ladies. For that matter get to know as many ladies as you want, but take your time. If on Christmas eve you are by yourself, wish the ladies a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, but keep your emotions in check. Instead, check your list, check it twice and spend some quality time getting to know the ladies before confessing love.

For all you guys who met their lady, got to know her and know she is the one, Filipina Eyes wishes you many happy holidays of love and joy. For the guys who are still searching, know that the lady of your dreams could be spending your next Christmas under your tree.




Many feel that online dating is an easy road to finding love. Nothing could be further from the truth. I believe it can be a more successful and rewarding venture, but to say it is easier just isn’t so. Too many guys who are desperate to find love, join an online dating site and throw all common sense out the door. These same guys do not participate in the face to face world of dating, because of their fears and desperation. However, their emotional state of desperate love prevails in the online dating world from their lack of judgment. And when they make a desperate or stupid move, they want to blame the online dating site instead of themselves. The reputation these weak souls give to the online dating world is equivalent to the lady who is out to hustle instead of finding love. Both are desperate in their own way, both are using online dating for the wrong reasons, and both need not to belong to any online dating site.

Fortunately there are male members with healthy egos and emotionally can travel through the variety of online dating partners using good judgment as their vehicle. They take responsibility for their actions, just as they would when meeting a lady face to face. They give the online dating world a good name just like the many ladies who join to find true love.

Yet the online dating world gives you opportunities to meet and find someone you are compatible with because of the vast numbers you can meet along the way. Because of those numbers, you are bound to meet your share of hustlers. There is no doubt, if you could just as easily meet hundreds of ladies in the face to face world, you would also find just as many hustlers, but only in the online dating world is it possible for you to meet ladies from around the world with so many different personality traits. That is why such a road can be more successful, more rewarding, but requires you to use good judgment. Yet, this good judgment only takes the slightest amount of common sense. I guess it is time to give an example to explain.

I knew a guy who saw a lady’s picture on an online dating site, became a member and before he even introduced himself or contacted her, or even said hello to her, sent her a dozen roses. I didn’t feel sorry for him at all when she refused the roses since he was a stranger in her eyes.

I know guys who will contact a lady, her first email to him she will ask him for money and he will send her the money. Come on, any lady who is sincerely looking for love knows this is not appropriate behavior and any guy who falls for it gets what he deserves. Can you imagine going on a face to face date and at dinner the lady says to you “I need $100.00″. You would probably excuse yourself, go to the bathroom and not return. So why get so stupid when you are online.

To be honest with you, I’m more tired of the guys who cry after they have been hustled then the lady hustlers themselves. These guys want to blame the lady, the online dating service, etc, but never stop to examine their lack of judgment or lack of self esteem. However, with that said, there are some true gentleman out there who will try to help a lady if she needs money, but those same gentlemen do not cry afterwards. They chalk it up to experience and accept their lack of judgment knowing that they won’t be fooled next time.

The ultimate hustlers are getting more sophisticated in their hustle. Some are now playing the game longer knowing that the trade mark of a lady hustler is for her to ask for money immediately or early in the relationship. These new breed of online dating hustlers are more selective in who they correspond with and avoid the typical hustler environments. They will establish a legitimate presence through a mail in application (since the stereotype hustler is known to use email and chatrooms) and establish several relationships in search for the ultimate prize. These ladies are out for the bigger score. They are not looking for a lot of men to send money, but that one man who has all the money she would ever want, that one man who will shower her with gifts, that one man she will marry for money because she wants it more then love. Yes, she is the ultimate hustler who will establish a relationship, find the right man with the right dollars and marry him. The sting to the hustle is, she will not stay married to him. She will take his money, wreck his emotions and run off with a guy who sweeps her off her feet. Count yourself lucky if you met the typical hustler who shows her cards early verus the ultimate lady hustler who plays her cards patiently, skillfully and when it comes time to show her cards, she has taken more from you then money, but the love you thought you found. If you are thinking this is nothing new and has been going on even before the online dating world became popular, you obviously have good judgment.




When you think about the girl next door, usually it brings pleasant thoughts. She is a lady we have seen around, exchanged greetings and smiles – walked away feeling good. The part about feeling good has a lot to do with the calm atmosphere and the casual meeting. There was no crowd, no expectations of trying to be picked up, and you were not concerned about being rejected. Instead, it was you and a lady exchanging some small talk with no pressure or competition. Over time as you get to know each other the conversation may get a little more personal and you may decide to get together for dinner or drinks. It seems to come natural.

In a club, the atmosphere is completely different. There is competition and much more intensity in the air. The women don’t know who you are and if they seen you around, they can only judge you by your actions – which may be effected by alcohol. When you do walk up to one of these ladies in a club, right away you are inviting her to go out, have a drink, etc., without her really knowing who you are. No wonder this type of atmosphere is ripe with rejection. Granted a lady may get to know you in a club over time, but there always seems to be another guy around the corner trying to take your place. Probably this competition is the reason for the hurried invite for a personal connection. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I bet, must guys have had more then their share of rejections in a club and really don’t care for the feeling.

Meeting a girl online is similar to the girl next door concept. She may not be next door, but the atmosphere of little pressure, casual conversation and getting to know each other by online exchange (email, online chatting, etc.), make it a more pleasant feeling. In time, this exchange may blossom into more then friendship. If sparks connect, you will find yourself in love with the girl next door though she may be miles even oceans away.

A lady in a bar who doesn’t know who you are, may say no for that reason alone. She may get to know you in time, but more then likely you have asked her out before she got the chance to know who you are. After a guy has been rejected, more then likely he won’t return to the scene of the accident. You may tell yourself you will let the lady get to know you before making any advances, which is not a bad idea, but by the time she gets to know you, three other guys have asked her out.

With the girl next door concept on the internet, you get to know each other before asking intimate questions. And when the time comes to invite the lady into a romantic encounter, she knows who you are and rejection is less likely. Granted, there are jerks on the net whose first email may say “baby, I want to make love to you all night,” but that line seems out of place for a first email. Yet that same line may not seem so out of place the first time you meet a lady in a club. See the difference? I doubt if you would say “baby, I want to make love to you all night” the first time you meet your new lady neighbor. Yet in a club, after a few drinks, you will say just that — for that matter, it is almost expected.

You can see why the girl next door concept works well with online dating. Ladies get to know the guys, rejection is less, and finding love is more likely. I can’t imagine a better way to get to know the girl next door then from the comfort of your home and computer. The girl next door is as close as your fingers on the keyboard – you just got to go out and find her. With so many online dating services, finding the girl next door should be as easy as ringing her door bell.