Aug 2007, we come a long way, baby, or did we? The above date is when I first wrote this page. By putting a date it gives us a history of how things were. Do they still apply? You decide.

Online Dating Myth or Truth -- Online Dating is Expensive

I'm going to qualify my answer by saying that there are direct and indirect expenses involved with online dating.

One direct expense is you either pay or do not pay for membership for an Online Dating site. Filipina Eyes charges no fees for membership, so that is as cheap as it can get. However, if a guy does meet a lady at Filipina Eyes, more than likely there will be expenses involved if she lives beyond the borders of his country. I can't quote all the fees for every country, but in the U.S. these fees can be quite expensive and are usually associated with immigration fees by the government. You can find these fees on the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) website. Besides the immigration fees, one of the biggest expenses will be traveling to meet your lady in person. This usually requires you to take a trip to her country. Is it worth it? Only you can decide. For myself -- to meet a lady who believes that marriage is about love and not a tug of war between genders, was worth every cent I had to spend to meet immigration requirements.

Online Dating Myth or Truth -- Paid Membership is better than FREE Membership

Another tough one, but the answer has to be no. There are probably good and bad in either case, but overall it depends more on what you are looking for then the cost. In most cases, paid membership will have more bells and whistles, but that doesn't mean finding quality people is any better. The larger and more corporate like Online Dating sites, usually advertise quite heavily and their membership fees reflect this expense.

Most FREE Online Dating sites are smaller mom and pop type of sites like Filipina Eyes. What they lack in resources they make up in customer relations and their experience. I doubt if many at E-harmony has experienced the trials and tribulations of marrying a lady from another country. Most online dating mom and pop sites are run by someone who has met, married and experienced what it takes to court and marry a lady beyond the borders of their country. That is why I run several FREE Asian dating sites.

In many ways, deciding what online dating site fits your needs is like picking a partner that is compatible to your personality. One thing can be said about FREE dating sites, it cost you nothing to give it a try.

Online Dating Myth or Truth -- Paid Membership has less hustlers, rapist or screw balls.

I'm going to touch on some issues that may be controversial, but common sense is one ingredient that seems to go out the window when people express their thoughts about Online Dating.

There is such a variety of different Online Dating sites, for me to cover all possibilities is impossible. But a few things can be surmised using good old common sense. A lot of international sites will have the male member pay a membership fee while it is free for lady members. As long as it is free for lady members, they are going to get their share of lady hustlers. There is no way a webmaster of a dating site can determine the sincerity of a potential member by a membership application. But hell, this is true in the traditional dating world. When you first meet someone, you have no idea of their intent or sincerity until you get to know that person.

The rapist issue is even more controversial than most. The lack of common sense that is prevalent in regulation of Online Dating is an issue that is more about bureaucratic nonsense, favoritism and political agendas than what is right or wrong. Tell me, which type of dating site is more likely to attract a rapist.

(1) An Online dating site that introduces members within the same locale (i.e. at a lot of U.S. domestic dating sites you can contact someone locally and meet them later in your area)

(2) An international dating site where you are usually contacting a member who lives beyond your borders.

But guess which one above is regulated and which one is not -- #1 no regulation -- #2 regulated. If this doesn't tell you laws are about political agendas, and special interest groups trying to make a buck for themselves, I don't know what does.

Lets add to the fact that meeting someone and courting a person who lives beyond the U.S. borders requires fees, and immigration paperwork that most rapist don't have the agility or staying power to put up with. But to meet a local gal through a dating site that caters to that area requires no paperwork, no immigration fees, just the time it takes to arrange for a meeting. Laws are about money, not about what is right or wrong. Enough said. Where is the common sense. You decide.

Online Dating Myth or Truth -- Common Sense is needed in Online Dating

Oh God Yes! Why is it that when we go on a traditional date, we use our God given instincts, common sense and personality skills, to determine if that person is the ONE, but as soon as we get on the internet we throw all caution into the wind. A good example is when a lady at an online dating site asks a male member for money. If you went on a traditional date, and the lady looked you in the eye and before you even got to know her, she asks: "can you give me $500 to complete my school work, or pay for my dad's funeral, or help pay for a lawyer to get my brother out of jail, etc, etc, etc" you would walk away from that date and never contact that lady again.

Well guys, same scenario on the internet. If a lady you just met is asking you for money, common sense should prevail. She is hustling. Walk away. Common sense should also tell you that if indeed love does flourish in time (more than a few emails) expenses may need to be discussed. When I met Eileen, she never asked me for a dime during courtship. When I asked her to marry me, I knew that immigration expenses would be involved on her end, as well as mine. That was the time we discussed what expenses were involved, not during the get to know each other stages of the relationship.

Granted, their may be some minor expenses even during courtship that makes sense. If you want to help a lady you are getting to know with postage fees, internet cafe fees, etc, that probably is a risk worth taking. If it turns out she is not the one, you probably didn't lose any more money than you would spend on a night out at your local club. But hustlers are rarely after a few dollars -- it is more likely they are after hundreds, even thousands, if they think they have a real fish hooked on their line of bull.

Do guys hustle? Yes, but usually it is more about the heart than money. Some guys will string a lady or ladies along until someone else comes along that is prettier or sexier. They break a heart or two along the way.

Common sense should prevail. Don't come crying to the webmaster if you decide to send a lady $100, $200, $300 or more and never hear from her again. No webmaster can predict what a members intentions may be when they sign up. Hopefully it is for love, but if a lady joins to hustle it won't be known until she commits the act and it is reported to the webmaster. You can add TIME to Common Sense as an ingredient when looking for love. Rushing into a relationship before getting to know a person is a formula that usually turns sour.

I think I will stop here by saying that Online Dating is a tool. How it is used is as varied as there are personalities who are looking for love. Magic wands or crystal balls may be fun, but the reality is that if you are serious about finding that special someone it takes more than a picture, a few words or a personality profile, it takes heart, determination and common sense. If you trust yourself, than trust you have what it takes to find that special someone to love you and for you to love them.